On the outside, everyone looks so put together. I was still wrestling with my anger with 'T,' my own feelings of worthlessness for not having protected my siblings, and my anger with my dad for just having another cocktail with all of the craziness. a woman who seems fine on the outside, but almost as if there's something stirring underneath. 'T' married a woman he had dated for several years - a woman I don't like. Mind you, I once found naked photos of my father with his sister.įast-forward to 10 or 12 years later. My dad drank, but then again that had started way before any of this. It seemed that everyone I knew, every young family member, had been affected. My youngest brother started getting high at age 12, and I've never seen him sober since.

Each of those siblings went on to start drinking and using drugs. Minimal, if any therapy, was received by my other siblings. Then, my other brother, age 6, said that he didn't want to talk about it. Then, my cousin said that he used to come over to her house when her dad wasn't home and asked if he could be her first kiss. My sister, age 8, then came forward and said that 'T' had also been molesting her ever since she could remember. My brother, a minor himself, went into counseling. The family friend was indicted by a grand jury, and then a few days later shot himself before standing trial. 'T' told everyone about how this family friend had been 'raping' him for years. she had somehow connected all the dots already. This was when I was 18, the other two brothers were 10 and 12 at the time. It was found out by my mother (divorced from my father) who walked in on two of my other brothers engaged in fellatio. He would come over and they would get so sloshed together that this friend would end up spending the night. This friend had been one of our dad's drinking buddies. When I was 18, I found out that my brother (I'll call him 'T') had been sexually abused for years by a family friend.

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